This episode is Valerie and Helen’s holiday gift to their listeners everywhere. Tune in for their favorite mindfulness exercises of 2022. Perfect for anyone who’s overwhelmed or exhausted by the holiday season—or just needs a few moments alone to breathe!
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2022 Mindfulness Favorites
Episode 25
Helen Sneed: Welcome to Mental Health Hope and Recovery. Hi, I'm Helen Sneed.
Valerie Milburn: And I'm Valerie Milburn.
Helen Sneed: We both have fought and overcome severe chronic mental illnesses. Our podcast offers a unique approach to mental health conditions. We use practical skills and inspirational true stories of recovery. Our knowledge is up close and personal.
Valerie Milburn: Helen and I are your peers. We're not doctors, therapists or social workers. We're not professionals, but we are experts. We are experts in our own lived experience with multiple mental health diagnoses and symptoms. Please join us on our journey.
Helen Sneed: We live in recovery, so can you.
Valerie Milburn: This podcast does not provide medical advice. The information presented is not intended to be a substitute or relied upon as medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. The podcast is for informational purposes only. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health providers with any health related questions you may have.
Helen Sneed: Welcome to episode 25, our favorite mindfulness exercises of 2022. This episode is our holiday gift to you. Mindfulness exercises for these times when you may feel stressed out, exhausted, or just need a moment to yourself to breathe. Now as I look back, for me, mindfulness at first was almost impossible. I can remember a therapist telling me to close my eyes and think of a safe place. Well, I can think of a safe place, I said. But if I'm in it, it's not safe.
Valerie Milburn: Oh Helen, that's a great way to struggle against mindfulness because we need to just breathe into it. And I know when I first started it practicing mindfulness, it was the breathing that was key. For me, breathing brought me to a calm place, taught me to settle my whole body, through my breath. And I think one of the biggest benefits for me about practicing mindfulness is that it does quiet not just my body, but my mind. And it lets me focus on my surroundings and not my ruminating thoughts, because that's what I struggle with the most, is those ruminating thoughts. One of the things I do, it's a real challenge. And I've really been focusing on this lately. And I did it recently when a woman was popping her gum next to me as I was waiting for my oil change. And it was just a real struggle, but I challenged myself to not pick up my phone, for example, when I'm waiting, waiting for coffee at the coffee shop or in the doctor's office, and to focus on my surroundings and maybe even close my eyes and do a mindfulness exercise. And I find that really brings me to full awareness of my life.
Helen Sneed: Well, I. I did. I stuck it out, you know. And it was through DBT training, dialectical behavior therapy that mindfulness began to enlighten me and become achievable. And to this day, it helps me control my darkest negative thoughts and ruminations. Darling, I say to myself, it's like talking to a seven year old, darling, why are you looking back? You know the past will kill you. And I can use my mind, which had been my greatest enemy. I can use my mind
Helen Sneed: to pull myself back into the present moment, the minute at hand. For me, this is an Old Testament miracle. Mindfulness is a fundamental cornerstone of my sustained recovery. And it gives me a strong sense of mastery over my own well being at last.
Valerie Milburn: Well, and you just gave the definition of mindfulness to stay in the moment, in the present. And I'll just give it right now because I always give a definition of mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of being hyper aware of the moment. It is being in the present, acknowledging what you are thinking and feeling and accepting it without judgment. Being mindful is about immersing yourself in the present moment to the extent that.
Valerie Milburn: You are fully aware of everything you.
Valerie Milburn: Are experiencing in that moment. And I love that definition.
Helen Sneed: Oh, sorry, I. I was gonna say one more thing, but if you're getting ready to start.
Valerie Milburn: No, I have another comment too. It just. You had.
Helen Sneed: Oh, I'm sorry, darling, go ahead.
Valerie Milburn: No, no, you had just so beautifully given the definition and, and that I just had to throw it out there right away. Go ahead. We both have so much to say all the time. We always step over each other when we're talking because we're full of each other's ideas and our own.
Helen Sneed: Exactly. So did I get. Did I cut you off or do you. I just. What I wanted to say to you, because I think I speak on behalf of a lot of people, is that your mindfulness exercises at the end of each episode are extremely popular with our listeners. We know that, and I want to thank you for how much I get out of them. I learn more every episode about these precious skills. As Anne Lamott said, almost everything will work again if you unplug it, including you. So, Valerie, please take us through our favorite mindfulness exercises of 2022.
Valerie Milburn: I will do that. And you just said exactly what I was going to say is that so many people in my life who are listening to this podcast talk to me about incorporating these mindfulness exercises into their life. So you just said it for me and let's get going. Our first mindfulness practice today is called.
Valerie Milburn: Ending the Day with Gratitude.
Valerie Milburn: And it's best done just as the title says, at the end of a day. But anytime is a great time to get introduced to it. So let's get going.
Valerie Milburn: Let's get mindful. Close your eyes if you can. Settle in and breathe as always. We'll begin with a few diaphragmatic breaths. Whether your eyes are open or closed, let's steady our breathing with two diaphragmatic breaths. When you do this on your own, take as many breaths as you need to become calm and centered. I usually take 10 diaphragmatic breaths to begin my mindfulness and and meditation practice. Let's breathe. Inhale through your nose, expanding an imaginary balloon in your stomach as you inhale. Now hold it for a second or two. Exhale through your mouth, pulling that imaginary balloon in, pulling your stomach in. Let's do it again. Inhale through your nose, expanding that balloon, pushing your stomach out. Now exhale through your mouth, pulling in your stomach, exhaling forcefully. Keep this slow, steady breath going. Now allow your mind to travel over the events of the day. From waking up until this moment. Let your day wash over you. Make an effort to disconnect from any lingering responsibilities, from any stresses about how your day went or about how tomorrow will go. Remember that we are here to find gratitude for the day. Now think about everyone you came into contact with today. No judgments, just gratitude. Who was the first person you saw today? How about the last person you interacted with? Recall a few conversations you had.
Helen Sneed: The.
Valerie Milburn: Smiles or pleasantries you exchanged as you do so. Express gratitude for these moments of connection. Now connect with your body. Think of everything your body has done today to keep you safe and healthy. Think of all the processes that go on inside. Out of sight, your heart beating, your blood pumping. Sit in thankfulness for everything your body has done for you today. Finally, express gratitude for all of the skills that you carry. No judgments, just gratitude. Gratitude for everything that you utilize in your daily life. Perhaps you're especially good at solving problems. Or maybe you called upon your creative side or channeled your compassionate nature. Take one last moment to appreciate and be grateful for the gifts of the day. If your eyes are closed, open them gently. Bring yourself back to the present moment. Thank you for doing this mindfulness exercise with me.
Valerie Milburn: That was a great exercise to begin with because gratitude is a grounding force in my life.
Helen Sneed: You know, what I have found is the more I focus on the things I'm grateful for, the less I focus on the things I don't have. And I think that's one of the great gifts of gratitude.
Valerie Milburn: I love that. And I have this quote. If you're. If you're not happy with what you don't have, how are you going to be happy with what you have? No, wait, it's the other way around. If you're not happy with what you have, how are you going to be happy with what you don't have? That's what it is.
Helen Sneed: Okay.
Valerie Milburn: Okay.
Valerie Milburn: Our next exercise is called Playfully getting to know your monster. I love that title. And it is adapted from mindful.org this is a playful way to work with our emotions. We can see the emotion for what it is and name it saying something like, oh, there you are, sadness, or I see you fear. And this is the flip side to how we often identify our emotions, which is we say, I am sad or I am angry. And you know, we are not our emotions. And this practice can help us to really experience that truth more directly.
Valerie Milburn: That we're not our emotions.
Valerie Milburn: And it could be as simple as saying, ah, there you are, angry monster. So let's keep this exercise light and playful. Let's get mindful.
Valerie Milburn: Again. Close your eyes if you can, and let's settle in and breathe. We'll begin with those familiar diaphragmatic breaths. Whether your eyes are open or close, let's steady our breathing with two diaphragmatic breaths. Let's breathe. Inhale through your nose, pushing your stomach out as you inhale. Hold it for a second. Exhale through your mouth, pulling in your stomach as you do. Forcefully exhaling again. Inhale through your nose. Push your stomach out. Exhale through your mouth. Pull your stomach in forcefully. Exhale Keep this slow, steady breath going. Imagine a parade of emotions flowing through your mind.
Valerie Milburn: Is one of those emotions a parade? In that parade, your monster. Take a real interest in what your monster looks like. Be it anxiety, fear, anger. Give it a color, shape and size. Is it high anger? You are very red today. Is your monster the size of a marble or maybe a beach ball? Try to notice if it seems solid or light or airy. Is it a balloon named anxiety that floats away when you try to catch it? Hey there, worry. You look like a pot of honey brown and sticky. What would it be like if you reached out and touched your emotion? How is it moving in the parade of other emotions you are feeling? You may start to notice what experiences led to that monster appearing in your parade. Don't try to figure anything out, just stay curious. If you feel yourself getting pulled alongside your monster, return to your deep breathing. Maybe you can visualize your monster as a balloon and pop it. If your eyes are closed, please open them gently. Bring yourself back to the present moment. Remember, when you do this, keep the entire practice playful and light. And I wish you well with your parade. From my monsters to yours.
Helen Sneed: Well, we can't leave out my monsters because they, you know, they can become my roommates, you know, and I want them out of my house. I love that with my monsters.
Valerie Milburn: That's a good visualization. The balloon and walking them out of your house in your mind. I love that.
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Valerie Milburn: Contiguous us only so our next exercise is called the Purposeful Pause, and it's best done at the beginning of a busy day.
Valerie Milburn: A purposeful pause.
Valerie Milburn: Again, I'm going to give a definition.
Valerie Milburn: What is mindfulness? Mindfulness is the practice of being hyper aware of the moment. It's being in the present, acknowledging what you're thinking and feeling and accepting it without judgment. Again, let's
Valerie Milburn: get mindful. Close your eyes if you can. Let's try those diaphragmatic breaths again, getting centered for this next exercise. Close your eyes if you can. Let's steady our breathing with those two diaphragmatic breaths. Again. Inhale through your nose. Expand that balloon in your stomach. Exhale through your mouth. Pull your stomach all the way in. Inhale through your nose. Exhale through your mouth. Pull your stomach all the way in. Now visualize yourself at the beginning of a day. Maybe it was this morning. Or visualize tomorrow morning. What does the day ahead of you look like? Can you visualize your calendar or your list for the day? What meetings or appointments or tasks will fill your day? Visualize beginning your day with a purposeful pause before you head off to that first appointment or meeting or before you start your first task of the day. Visualize taking a look, really looking at your calendar or list for the day. Is there room in your day to attend to what is important? Have you allotted time for taking care of yourself physically and emotionally? Are you attending to some meetings or performing some tasks that simply simply out of habit? Are there other meetings or tasks that serve no real purpose in this purposeful pause? Each morning, check in to determine if you have been making time in your schedule for what's important to you and to your work or your mission. Make a commitment to yourself to experiment with making one small change to your calendar each day. And remember it need not be a big change, just a small step. Be disciplined about this practice until it becomes a habit. And never underestimate the ripple effect of those small changes. If your eyes are closed, open them gently. Bring yourself back to the present moment. Thank you for doing this mindfulness exercise with me. Now there's something interesting about this in.
Valerie Milburn: That the first time we recorded this, after I had written it, I was having a conversation with my daughter And I realized as she talked about her busy life with a full time job.
Valerie Milburn: Two toddlers, two board positions, that I.
Valerie Milburn: Probably had her in mind as I was writing that mindfulness exercise. So, okay, let's do our next one, which is called Leaning into Uncertainty. We're going to be mindful about facing change. We can have unsettled feelings as we face changes in our lives. And we can use mindfulness to work.
Valerie Milburn: On our accept of our uncertainty.
Valerie Milburn: To embrace these unsettled feelings, we can work on what's called intolerance of uncertainty, a tendency identified by psychologists as a.
Valerie Milburn: Risk factor for poor mental health.
Valerie Milburn: So this mindfulness exercise is about leaning into uncertainty. Mindfulness as a way to build exposure to a tolerance
Valerie Milburn: toward, or perhaps even an appreciation of times when we don't know what's ahead and maybe feel out of control.
Valerie Milburn: So let's get mindful again. Close your eyes if you can. Settle in and breathe. Let's do two more diaphragmatic breaths. Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Imagine yourself in an upcoming situation that has uncertainty attached to it. A situation where you don't know what is going to happen and are maybe anxious about it. Or it could be a past situation like this that you would like to have handled differently. Imagine where you are. Imagine the situation and keep your slow, steady breath going. What do your surroundings look like? Who is in the room? Look around the room and accept that some things are uncertain. Lean into that uncertainty. What could be good about the uncertainty? Let the following thought enter your mind in this uncertain moment. I'm alive and that is enough. Hold that thought as you look around the room you are imagining. With this thought in mind, lean into the uncertainty of the situation with grace. If your eyes are closed, open them gently. Bring yourself back to the present moment. Thank you for doing this mindfulness exercise with me.
Helen Sneed: This is such a valuable exercise, I think, because I don't know many people who aren't really thrown by uncertainty or change or that just simply not knowing. Which I think can be. I'd rather have bad news than not know. Do you know what I mean?
Valerie Milburn: Yeah.
Helen Sneed: So I really appreciate you're doing this one because it's something that I. I'm still working on this and we'll continue to. Because I think for me, radical acceptance of the not knowing is what helps me the most.
Valerie Milburn: Yes, another DBT skill. And those are good ones.
Valerie Milburn: Yes, I love that. So, our final favorite from our 2022 episodes, and this is our second year of having favorite mindfulness exercises. So here's our final one and it's called Maintaining a Consistent Positive Identity. And I don't know about you, Helen.
Valerie Milburn: But I can slip into negative self.
Valerie Milburn: Talk or assume someone is thinking negatively about me or negatively misinterpret a situation. And you know, I can in about.
Helen Sneed: 30 seconds five times a day.
Valerie Milburn: So I can turn these thoughts around by mindfully focusing on positive self talk or acknowledging that I can't read someone else's mind, or focusing on the reality of a situation rather than on my negative interpretation of that situation. So once again, let's begin with diaphragmatic breathing.
Valerie Milburn: I know most of us will be pretty relaxed by this time because we have done diaphragmatic breathing four times now. But once again, let's close your eyes if you'd like to. Two more slow, steady breaths.
Valerie Milburn: Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Bring to mind a negative self talk word or phrase you sometimes tell yourself, if you have one, what is the positive opposite of that word or phrase? What are your strengths that this opposite positive word or phrase describes? In what situations do these positive words or phrases fit your actions? Become mindful of the possibility of speaking to yourself gently and sympathetically when you're in a tough spot, as you would most likely speak to a friend no matter what they're going through. Now let's focus on a time you may have assumed someone was thinking negatively about you. What did you assume that person was thinking? Was there anything to back up what you were thinking? For example, if you assumed your boss thought you did a bad job on a project, did your boss tell you that you did a bad job on that project? Maybe there was a time you felt someone was staring at you and judging you. Could it possibly have been that you reminded that person of someone? Could that person have been thinking of something else and it was just a blank stare? Become mindful of the fact that we cannot read another person's mind. Let's shift our focus once again. Bring to mind a time you found yourself in a situation you felt negative about. Maybe a party, an office event, a family gathering, or dinner with friends. Was something negative said or done to you at this event to warrant your negative thoughts or feelings? Were the other people at the event acting negatively? What was your self talk? Take a couple of those deep, slow breaths. Imagine what positive self image means to you. Perhaps when you think of positive self image, you can envision confidence, self acceptance, good self esteem. Be mindful that we can focus on positive self talk, focus on acknowledging that we can't read someone else's mind. Focus on the reality of a situation rather than give our negative interpretation of it.
Valerie Milburn: If your eyes are closed, please open them and gently bring yourself back to the present moment. Thank you for doing these mindfulness exercises with me.
Helen Sneed: Well, Valerie, you know, this, this final one, the positive identity thing is, is perhaps my greatest challenge. And I don't know how to describe it, except that there just some days when I feel so vulnerable in the world that I feel like I don't have any skin and anything can get through, you know, and so these are very helpful tools that you've just given us on how to, how to combat that and how to counter it with something more positive. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna put it into practice. I want to thank you, Valerie, for so many things, for your, your great contribution year round and for giving us these fabulous exercises today. For me, you have become synonymous with mindfulness. And as we close, we want to send out our best wishes to our listeners for a peaceful and fulfilling holiday season. Use mindfulness to keep your equanimity and sanity if necessary. So my greatest thanks to you, Valerie, and to our listeners everywhere. And I want to leave you with these words to think about. John Cabot Zinn said, you can't stop the waves, but you can learn how to surf. And I think that's what mindfulness is all about. And so, you know, you guys surfs.
Valerie Milburn: Up and Helen, you've helped teach me to surf just in this podcast in life. And I want to thank you for a wonderful two years. And here's to year three. And we will kick off 2023. We have one more episode coming up in two more episodes coming up in 2022, and then we'll see you on 20 in 2023 as well. And I also wish you all a wonderful holiday season.
Helen Sneed: Well, I think that speaking of our final episodes this year, our next episode will be riveting and very informative as we address the personal impact of a hospital stay. So please join us for conversations about the psychiatric hospitalization experience. Don't miss these firsthand stories of individuals in a hospital setting and what came to pass. Until then, I leave you with our favorite word. Onward.