The subject of happiness is a new area of research and study in the mental health field. In a complete reversal of psychiatric tradition, the emphasis and exploration are not about what makes you weak and sick, but rather, what makes you healthy and happy. In this episode, Valerie and Helen confront this gargantuan subject: happiness and mental health. And they approach it from a new perspective. They examine how happiness fosters healing within the mental and physical well-being of an individual. Also explored is how happiness affects the brain, biochemistry, nervous system, and physiological health. Given the fact that happiness can be the most elusive emotion, the episode offers tips and advice from the experts. Don’t miss the chance to learn more about happiness, including yours.
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Seeking Happiness
Episode 55
Helen Sneed: Welcome to our award winning podcast, Mental Health, Hope and Recovery. I'm Helen Sneed.
Valerie Milburn: And I'm Valerie Milburn.
Helen Sneed: We both have fought and overcome severe chronic mental illnesses. Our podcast offers a unique approach to mental health conditions. We provide practical skills, guest experts, and inspirational true stories of recovery. Our knowledge is up close and personal.
Valerie Milburn: Helen and I are your peers. We're not doctors, therapists or social workers. We're not professionals. But we are experts. We are experts in our own lived experience with multiple mental health diagnoses and symptoms. Please join us on our journey.
Helen Sneed: We live in recovery.
Valerie Milburn: So can you this podcast does not provide medical advice. The information presented is not intended to be a substitute for or relied upon as medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. The podcast is for informational purposes only. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health providers with any health related questions you may have.
Helen Sneed: Welcome to episode 55, Seeking Happiness. Well Valerie, we have taken on a megatopic happiness and its impact on mental health for a number of reasons. This is one of the most gargantuan subjects we've ever tackled. It's because we're approaching it as a new area of study in the psychiatric field, which it is now. It's not what makes you sick, but rather what makes you healthy and happy. As you'll see, there are many definitions of happiness and what it can do for the individual. Let's just start with the basics, knowing full well that the meaning of happiness will expand in this episode. Webster says happiness is a state of well being and contentment. The American Psychological association defines happiness as an emotion that includes joy, gladness, life, satisfaction and well being. And finally, let's look at the word joy. Dictionary.com says joy is the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying? Keen pleasure elation. Now, what impact does happiness have on us? Well, I think that the brain is a good place to start. So what does happiness do to the human brain and vice versa? Well, happiness influences two key brain activities. Neural increased activity in the left prefrontal cortex, where positive emotions are activated and modulated. And neurotransmitters, the source of powerful feel good brain hormones that contribute vastly to happiness. Serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin and endorphins. Now, the impact of these hormones affect virtually everything good that goes on in your mind. From pleasure, reward, mood regulation, well being, contentment, happiness, love, laughter, pain relief, mood elevation. Neurotransmitters also carry messages across the spaces between brain cells. Now we have some control over this. Harvard Health advises that diet, exercise, meditation, and human relationships boost levels of these miraculous hormones.
Valerie Milburn: I love that we're tackling this topic. Just the fact that we already
Valerie Milburn: learned that happiness affects everything from pleasure, reward, mood regulation, well being, contentment, happiness. I mean, that is so exciting to be tackling this topic. And I'm going to start with an article from the New York Times Magazine. This article grouped happiness into two main categories, and this concept of this grouping goes back to ancient Greece. One kind of happiness is called eudemonic well being, which you might think of as having meaning and purpose in your life. The other type is called hedonic well being, which means feeling pleasure and avoiding pain. Both researchers say are important in order to thrive. For hedonic well being, think of eating a mind blowing cookie or laughing at a funny social media post, or lounging by a fireplace during a snowstorm. Eudaimonic well being, meanwhile, refers to the deeper sense of meaning and purpose that can come from, oh, a feeling of mastery over challenging work, or volunteering in your community or bonding with loved ones. And on that note, of loved ones, the research is pretty clear that eudaimonic happiness, this meaningful joy, is linked to strong relationships. So develop them. To develop the meaningful joy of eudaimonic happiness, seek out the people in your life who make you feel most fully yourself and try to prioritize spending time with them. You can try sending a random check in text every once in a while to a beloved friend you haven't spoken to in a while. And Helen, you and I don't fall into that category because we speak to each other all the time, so we, we know how important we are to each other. So you can also cultivate new skills or hobbies, because these can be a great source of eudaimonic well being, whether we're taking up something as different as weightlifting, sketching landscape scenes or learning a new language. Now, the other type of happiness we're talking about, hedonic happiness. These simple pleasures. You can develop these by finding little things to do that bring you pleasure and excitement in the moment, whatever that means. For me, it can be a great chai latte, a dirty chai latte. Don't forget the espresso in there. It can mean a FaceTime with my grandchildren, a Pilates class, reading, listening to music, or of course for me, a mindful walk in the neighborhood.
Helen Sneed: Now here is a study from the Mayo Clinic that is appropriately called a Very Happy Brain. There are three traits that leave your brain feeling drained. First, your brain feels others pain just like your own, which is empathy, I suppose. Second, for your brain, the imaginary is real. The brain lights up the same nerve bundles for events, real or imagined. And third, the brain can't tell physical pain from emotional pain. They both hurt the same. So here's some daily practices to replenish the brain. First, practice gratitude and compassion. Second, defeat fear and self doubt with safety and worthiness. And three, get busy in meaningful, creative and altruistic activities. Because of the way the brain works, the pursuit of gratitude and compassion will actually make you happier than the pursuit of happiness itself. Eleanor Roosevelt put it wisely. She said, happiness is not a goal, it's the byproduct of a life well lived.
Valerie Milburn: That's one of my favorite definitions of happiness. I've got another one I'm going to talk about soon. So another article from the New New York Times is called Best Advice I've Ever Heard for How to Be Happy. And there are some great suggestions from that article. The first one I love because I love hanging out with the younger people in my life. And that's the advice. Hang out with younger people. Margaretta Magnuson, the author of the book the Swedish Art of Aging, exuberantly offered her simple definition of happiness. Being around young people. Not only do they supply fresh perspectives, she said, but hearing about their plans and ideas is a way to stay in tune with the young person you yourself were at some point, she said.
Valerie Milburn: Magnuson suggested the following for older people. When hanging out with younger people, she said, just ask questions, listen, offer food. And then this is a funny one she threw in there. And don't talk about your bad knee again, she said. Another one.
Helen Sneed: Does this mean that we can't hang out together? Anymore.
Valerie Milburn: Oh, I don't know. You know, you always say you're so much older, but you know, you're really not.
Helen Sneed: Well, I know, but it's all relative, darling. Okay, younger people, I've got that on my list.
Valerie Milburn: Okay, younger people, here's another one to put on your list. Spread Positive Gossip I love this. We tend to highlight the negative when we gossip about others, said Jamil Zaki, and he is the author of the book Hope for Cynics. I love that. He's also the director of the Stanford Social Neuroscience Lab. Instead, he said, do the opposite. Spread positive tidbits about someone. Maybe it's a little known but admirable fact about that person, or a kind act you catch them in. And the research suggests that spreading this positive gossip may encourage others to do it too. This next bit comes from Suzanne o', Brien, a former hospice nurse, and she said cherish the everyday. Suzanne said that many of her dying patients look back with longing on the more ordinary parts of their routines, and she's had people give her examples like making pancakes on a Saturday morning. And she said an easy way to remind ourselves to be grateful for those everyday moments is by shifting our perspective. Now here's a great example. Instead of telling ourselves we have to go to the gym, we can say I get to go to the gym and here's one more, and it's a suggestion to set up an emotional first aid kit. Think about things that reliably soothe us so that we can pull them out during rough spots, said Susan Albers, and she's a clinician at the Cleveland Clinic. These soothing things might include assembling a serotonin playlist to give yourself a lift, or collecting positive emails and screenshots of supportive texts from loved ones that we can put in a folder.
Helen Sneed: I've actually done that last one and it, you know, you just pull them out and you feel instantly feel better now. We also wanted to look at the impact of happiness on the individual's mental and physical health. And of course it turned out to be powerful and wide reaching. All right, Opening a person's mind to positivity and optimism, improving a person's problem solving and cognitive ability. Very important. Building physical, intellectual and social resources. Protecting your health. Happiness lowers risk for cardiovascular disease, lowers blood pressure, enables better sleep, improves diet and allows you to maintain a normal body weight through regular exercise. And finally, happiness reduces stress.
Valerie Milburn: Now I have some tips from
Valerie Milburn: Happiness Tips from Toddlers Now I've.
Helen Sneed: Got five grandchildren that's hanging out with the young, right?
Valerie Milburn: I know. Hanging out with the young. Right again. I have five grandkids ages 11 months to 7 years old. So five little ones. And I get to hang out with these little gu. These tips come from the book Sleep well, Take Risks, Squish the Peas Secrets from the Science of Toddlers for Happier, More Successful Way of Life. Quite a mouthful, but it's got some great things in there. Squish the Peas and This is by Dr. Hassan Morali. His first tip is about the importance of positive self talk and he said that young children tend to coach themselves out loud and this practice is known as private speech. He said that toddlers aren't shy about self talk and the research suggests adults shouldn't be shy about it either. Because positive self talk can help with problem solving, learning confidence and managing our emotions. Next, take any opportunity to move. Two year olds are active for almost five hours a day. They move joyfully and instinctively. Adults can look for ways to move more, even if it's just for a minute. It's suggested to take a quick walk around the block or maybe schedule a meeting on foot rather than sitting down. Now this tip really surprised me and the tip is ask questions. Young kids are not afraid to pose questions, Dr. Morale said, and this study I can actually attest to being true. One study found that Young kids ask an average of 107 questions an hour. My husband said, I don't believe that. And I reminded him of the time when our daughter, at about age two and a half, literally for hours at a time, would walk around with their finger pointed, saying, what's that? What's that?
Helen Sneed: What's this?
Valerie Milburn: Who's that? 107 questions an hour. I've experienced it. So adults have been socialized to hold back our questions because we're often worried about what other people think. But asking questions not only helps us to gain information, it's also an important way to build relationships. And that absolutely makes sense. So the final tip we can learn from Kids look for opportunities to laugh. One study found that young children laugh six times as much as adults. But we can seek ways to build playfulness and humor. In our day, Dr. Morales suggests listening to a comedy podcast or trading silly text with someone. Research shows we laugh more when we are with friends, so make time for friends. Dr. Morale said he gets a daily dad joke mailed to him and during his lunch break he watches funny toddler videos. Well, of course the author of this book watches funny toddler videos.
Helen Sneed: Well, he's just doing research, Valerie. And that sort of leads to the next topic that I want to bring up, which is it's a study from the UK and it's called From Happy Hints UK Studies. And this is really pretty. Well, I'll just say it'll open your mind, but that's kind of what it's about. For generations, most of research in the psychiatric field has been on negative affect research, causes and treatment of the negative impact of mental illnesses. I didn't know there was any other kind of treatment. But more recent studies focus on positive affect. Positive psychology takes the opposite approach. Research now proves that happy thoughts and positive thinking support brain growth as well as the generation and reinforcement of new synapses, especially in the left prefrontal cortex, which serves as the integration center of all the brain mind functions. Now another phenomenon is now recognized, widely recognized, you can retrain your brain to think more positively. This disproves the belief that our own mental processes, thinking, originate from the brain, that the brain is in charge. More recent research shows that it is actually a two way street, that an individual's focused repetitive mental activity can affect changes in their brain structure,
Helen Sneed: wiring and capabilities. The actions we take can literally expand or contract different regions of the brain, firing up circuits or tamping them down. All of this means that you can retrain your brain to travel to more optimistic thoughts. And emotions.
Valerie Milburn: That's so encouraging. I meant to tell you, Helen, that what you were just talking about the positive psychology, focusing on positive aspects rather than the negative. I read an article this morning about the doctor, the psychiatrist who founded that when he was at the University of Pennsylvania, and I forward it to you. It was fascinating.
Helen Sneed: Well, I just like it because it's true.
Valerie Milburn: I know. Focus on the good.
Helen Sneed: It's the cause for more hope for me, I think, than anything I know.
Valerie Milburn: So one of the most effective things I learned in my research for this episode are what's called the five wellness rituals that can make you happier. And they're from an article in Real simple magazine. And my sister sent me this article and it's a great one. Thank you, sis. Here are some wellness rituals I'm going to share and these wellness rituals can be defined as those intentional practices that nurture your mind, spirit and emotional well being. Well, mind, spirit and emotional well being. That's mental health. So these are practices that nurture our mental health and happiness. Now, it's suggested that we start with one of these practices, one that feels easy and natural, something that takes two minutes or less. Now, once that becomes automatic, we can add others. It's not about adding every single one of these practices to our arsenal, but coming back to one or two that make us feel better. Here's the first one. It's called intentional micro joys. We don't have to seek out new experiences to be intentional about joy. It can exist in the small things as well. This is about intentionally seeking tiny moments of delight throughout your day, the perfect cup of coffee, a text from a friend, sunlight streaming through your window, says Dr. Mahina Dana Mahina, who developed these practices. The practice of intentional micro joy is the next time you feel yourself feeling happy during a fleeting moment, try to pause and lean into it. The next practice is called Boundary gratitude, and I love this one because I never thought about doing this. It's about recognizing the good things that came from setting a boundary instead of just listing what you're grateful for. Also acknowledge the boundaries that made those good things possible. This reinforces that saying no to one thing creates space for what matters most. An example is during your next cozy night in Consider all the steps you took just to get there, like saying no to that party. Invite. Those moments pay off more than we might think. And here's another one that I've actually implemented since I learned about it recently. It's called energy auditing. And it's another practice that promotes happiness here's how it works. At the end of a long day, consider conducting an energy audit. Ask yourself, what gave me energy today and what drained my energy today? Dana Mahina says this builds self awareness and helps us make more aligned choices tomorrow. And this has really worked for me. I've been evaluating at the end of the day what were my energy boosters and what were my energy drainers. And it has indeed shaped my choices in the subsequent days. And for me, more energy equals a more positive mood. This next practice Mahina calls presence pausing. It's mindfulness. Sometimes it's hard to find a time to recharge and reset in a busy day. But a quick mindfulness minute is powerful. And we're going to practice a mindfulness minute in our mindfulness exercise at the end of the episode today. So here's how this one works. Try spending just 60 seconds three times a day to notice where you are and how you feel without trying to change anything. This kind of radical acceptance will remind us that it's not about changing how we feel, but rather just acknowledging it and then naming
Valerie Milburn: it. Here's the last one. Values alignment check Ins one definition of happiness that I love really, really close to how I really evaluate my happiness. Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony. So I love this. Values alignment check. In practice, Mahina states that our values are what make us who we are, especially when we refuse to compromise them. She suggests that weekly ask yourself if your actions matched your stated values. This creates dopamine through the satisfaction of living authentically. When we're feeling off balance. Coming back to our values can be a simple way to get back on track.
Helen Sneed: Well, Valerie, we both love this quote from Marcus Aurelius. He said, the happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts. And doesn't that just say everything about recovery as well? And now another thing that we wanted to look at was our own individual experiences with happiness. And Valerie, do you want to begin?
Valerie Milburn: I do. Now, everyone may have noticed that I am on the tail end of laryngitis and my voice is starting to crack a bit. So bear with me because I really do want to talk about happiness. To me, how I've recovered it in my life of post, you know, mental health struggles and in my sobriety. And I already mentioned my favorite definition of happiness. And I'll repeat it. Happiness for me is when what I think, what I say and what I do are in harmony. And for me, for so long, that wasn't true. Even as a kid. As a kid, I was happy happiest when I was riding my bike. When I was riding my bike by myself. Because at that point I wasn't thinking. Well, I was thinking about being safe. But other than that, I wasn't thinking, I wasn't speaking. I was only doing. I was just being a kid on a bike. And I was happy because I often didn't want to think about my circumstances when I was a kid. And I could rarely speak, could barely speak the words to articulate the intense feelings I had. So sometimes you can say I didn't want to think, I didn't want to speak, I just wanted to be. My thoughts and words and actions were often not in harmony until I achieved both sobriety and mental health stability. And thus began a life of recovery 25 years ago. Because a life with alcoholism, addiction and mental illness is not a harmonious life. But in recovery I have found harmony and happiness. And this is something I describe as a spiritual peace that the world can neither give nor take away. I am happy because I am now.
Valerie Milburn: Comfortable in my own skin.
Valerie Milburn: I am happy because I speak and act intentionally based on thoughts I pray to be directed by my higher powers will, not mine. Now, that is not how I would have described happiness if you had asked me to do so 25 years ago. Back then, I thought I needed a more successful career, a bigger house, more time to travel, more fun in my life, a better looking body, a fancier car, more better, bigger, ad nauseam. But there was, during all of that struggle, there was an underlying, constant source of happiness that sustained me. And that was my relationships with those I love and who love me. And I have lifelong loving relationships with my siblings. I have a tremendous source of happiness and love from my two dear friends of 46 years. And then there's my husband. If you're a regular listener, you met Malcolm in episodes 47 and 48. Malcolm made me smile the first time I met him, in 1982. And by 1987, we were married with two kids. Our children are my heartbeat now. We have
Valerie Milburn: five grandchildren, like I said. And in our 43 years together, we have soared and sunk. We have experienced triumphs and tragedies. We've suffered, but we have survived and conquered and we have a full, rich life together. The eudaimonic happiness I talked about earlier, that meaningful joy, is indeed linked to these strong relationships. Marriage, children, grandchildren, family, friends and recovery are intertwined to bring me joy. Now, there are certain things that bring me peace, contentment, happiness, and joy, and I'll share those first. My morning prayer and meditation time is the key to my peace and contentment. I do not begin a day without this time for my spiritual connection and direction. Mindfulness. I have learned to stay in today, in the moment, to not dramatize, not catastrophize well most of the time. Gretchen Rubin, the author of the book Secrets of Adulthood, said, repeatedly rehearsing disaster doesn't protect us from it. Well, being mindful keeps me from repeatedly rehearsing disaster, something I spent my childhood doing, and it became a bad habit for me. My grandchildren remind me of the joy of Play. Recently my 5 year old granddaughter ran up to me and said, nana, come play with me. We need to open our donut shop. We proceeded to build the donut shop with what was available in the playroom. We cooked every flavor of imaginary donuts. We priced the donuts. She said they were $200 each. We invented and described the people in the line and my granddaughter made up silly rules. One was that the customers could only buy one donut. It was hysterical, joyful, and we played until we're called to dinner. My grandchildren have taught me to strive for imagination and frivolity in my life. There's a question I like to ask myself that is extremely helpful. I can say, does it really matter? Asking myself if it doesn't matter in five years, it doesn't matter, helps me to sort out quickly whether an issue should be bothering me or not. And you know what? Often the answer is it does not matter. And immediately my heart is lighter. Another key to happiness for me is setting boundaries. I know how I deserve to be treated by others. I make it clear how I expect to be treated and I don't tolerate mistreatment by other people. Once, when I was telling my sponsor about an argument I was having with my husband, she asked me, do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? Right, I said, laughing, and her point had been made. The service work I do volunteering for the national alliance on Mental Illness, sponsoring women in the aa, chairing meetings at psychiatric hospitals. All of this allows me to pass on my recovery to others. A life of recovery. I'm blessed with sharing a message of hope and just brings an indescribable joy. And this podcast brings the same joy. Helen, you and I are spreading stories of recovery and hope for recovery and skills for recovery worldwide. I never imagined I would have this opportunity and it fills my heart and I never thought I would get to have this wonderful journey with You, Helen, last and most family. Family is everything to me. And I'll end with a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson. The purpose of life is not to be happy, it is to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have made some difference that you have lived and lived well. Oh, what a goal to aim for.
Helen Sneed: Thank you, Valerie. Actually, it makes me think of you in your current life. Those beautiful words actually sort of reflect to me on how you live.
Valerie Milburn: Thank you.
Helen Sneed: And it's pretty, pretty impressive.
Valerie Milburn: Thank you. And now I am so ready to hear your story of happiness.
Helen Sneed: Well, it's kind of. Look at the name of our episode today. Seeking Happiness with a question mark. And I was depressed from the age of four or five, and I've said that before, and I felt so repulsive I thought I should live in the
Helen Sneed: barn with the animals. And I never understood happiness, but I fully comprehended joy. I learned that there were means to escape from the Depression, even if just for a little while, that I discovered by the sheer accidents of childhood. So here are some early sources of joy. Animals. We were out in the country and we had all kinds of animals and I loved all of them and I wanted to be a veterinarian. And it finally kind of all coalesced into a passion for, for horses. Beauty. Carl Jung said happiness requires one to cultivate an appreciation for beautiful things and experiences. And even though I grew up in the middle of nowhere, I found beauty in the living room of my parents house out in the country. Books, music, art, nature just outside the door. These things brought me joy, humor. I discovered it a little later at the age of nine and it changed my life. We don't laugh because we're happy, we're happy because we laugh, said the brilliant William James. And creativity. I wrote my first collection of short stories at seven and I wrote my first play at nine and starred in it. And the audience's laughter was intoxicating. It was as precious as oxygen. It was a cause for instant joy. So across the years into adulthood, the best moments were those straight shots of joy and happiness eluded me. I didn't know what it was, so I didn't really miss it. In fact, I was sort of a snob about it. I thought happiness was a foolish and kind of frivolous goal, you know, as if happiness replaced serious thought and action. So yes, the jolts of joy came from external things, but they lit me up inside and sent me soaring, even if only for a moment. Well, the depression never went away as the years passed, but I learned to function over it. For a long, long time. And then I just. I don't know, it caught up with me after decades and I could no longer tolerate the pain. And I collapsed into severe mental illnesses with really ever growing life threatening symptoms. And at that time, the joy seemed to vanish for good. And even the memory of it made me feel worse. But during my first long hospitalization, there was a saying that everyone seemed to believe that really stuck with me. The deeper the pain, the greater the joy. And so we patients would say to one another on really bad days, because it contained a grain of hope. And it stuck with me to this minute. Now, as the years of sickness and dysfunction crawl by, I believe that nothing positive was left inside me, Just sickness and decay. But let's leave those many years behind. For I did climb my way back into the world and a rich life in recovery. It was miraculous. But I still didn't understand happiness. I was clueless. One sunny spring day, I drove down the highway in South Carolina, south of Pawley's island, where I was staying with some of my favorite people. As I crossed the bridge over the great Pee Dee river, something passed over me that I'd never known before.
Valerie Milburn: The river.
Helen Sneed: The bridge, my red rental car, grade AC and fm. Nothing spectacular, right? But something new passed over me. And I realized this must be happiness. Effortless, simple, as gentle as a smile. And suddenly I remembered that the last time I drove on that bridge, many years before, the urge to die was so abrupt and so urgent that I almost drove the car off into the river and killed myself. But this time, the flashback didn't trigger me. It made me marvel at how far I'd come. Never had I seen it so clearly. In order to feel happiness, we don't have to overcome the pain. The two traits, suffering and happiness, reside together within me, and they always will. And somehow I had become strong enough to accept that this contradiction and duality are perhaps the truest things about me. Happiness isn't about the absence of pain and hardship. It's the ability to find beauty and hope amid life's inevitable challenges. I suppose happiness will always surprise as well as delight me. I mean, it came to me so late. But happiness seems to possess kindness and compassion alongside its other merits. But here's a confession. I will always choose joy over happiness. You see the exhilarating majesty of joy in all its transformative power and beauty. Joy saved me first when I was such a little child. Even now, I can feel what joy is to me.
Helen Sneed: And for that brilliant illumination, however brief, I will wait.
Valerie Milburn: You know, what comes to mind as I hear your beautiful story is that you share your joy. And thank you for sharing your joy with me through our friendship, our work, and through the support you give me.
Helen Sneed: Well, it is. Well, it brings me joy, Valerie.
Valerie Milburn: You do.
Helen Sneed: Now, this comes to the closing of our topic. As always, we've talked about happiness and all these ideas have come out. But what have we learned? To me, one of the great common denominators is that happiness seems to be all about people, relationships, connections. From the Harvard Study of Adult Development, which is a project that has been going on for 80 straight years, Robert Walding, the current director of the project, said definitively, good relationships keep us healthy and happy. Period. His predecessor, George Volant, said, happiness is love, full stop. So the authorities have spoken and now I believe it's time for us to pursue something that brings happiness to us in every single episode. And that is a mindfulness exercise with Valerie.
Valerie Milburn: Valerie, thank you for those kind words. I love leading mindfulness exercises every episode. And we'll do that now. What is mindfulness? I always give a definition. Mindfulness is a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts and bodily sensations without judgment. For today's mindfulness exercise, we're going to practice one of the five wellness rituals I talked about earlier. I told you that's what we were going to do. These wellness rituals can be defined as intentional practices that nurture our mind, spirit and emotional well being. This one Dana Mahina calls presence pausing. It's a mindfulness minute and she suggests you do it three times a day. And the idea is to achieve radical acceptance. That reminds us it's not about changing how we feel, but it's about acknowledging how we feel and then naming it, putting a name to it. So here's what we're going to do. We're going to take 60 seconds to do just that. To notice where we are and how we feel. We're going to open with our breathing as we always do. So let's try it. Let's get mindful. If you're driving or walking, please adapt this mindfulness exercise in such a way that it works in your current surroundings.
Valerie Milburn: If you can find a comfortable seated position, try closing your eyes. If it's safe to do so, let's settle in. As always, we'll begin with a few diaphragmatic breaths. Whether your eyes are open or closed, let's steady our breathing with two diaphragmatic breaths. When you do this on your own. Take as many breaths as you need to. Become calm and centered. Let's breathe. Inhale through your nose, expanding an imaginary balloon in your stomach. As you inhale forcefully. Exhale through your mouth, pulling in your stomach as you do so. Drop your shoulders. Inhale through your nose. Expand that balloon in your stomach. Exhale through your mouth. Pull your stomach all the way in. Keep this slow, steady breath going. I will cue you when I start the 60 seconds. During this 60 seconds, become fully aware of your surroundings. Settling into the present moment. Say to yourself, right here, right now. Then ask yourself, how do I feel right now? Try to name your feelings. Try not to judge or change your feelings. Just acknowledge them. Just like that definition of mindfulness that I always give.
Valerie Milburn: Focus on the present moment. Calmly acknowledge and accept your feelings thoughts without judgment. Here we go. The next 60 seconds are your mindfulness minute. Continue your slow, steady breathing and begin. If your eyes are closed, please open them and gently bring yourself back to the room.
Valerie Milburn: Thank you for doing this mindfulness exercise with me.
Helen Sneed: Thank you, Valerie. That was a very valuable minute. This brings our episode to a close, and I first want to thank you, Valerie, for the abundant happiness that you've given me over a decade of friendship and through our rewarding work to our listeners. Our wish for you is happiness and joy, but I think our most important wish is for you to recognize, feel, and create happiness throughout your lives. Now, next time, we will offer one of the most requested kinds of subject matter that we get. From your responses, we've learned that people crave more and more information about what it's like to live and cope with a mental illness. Our guest will be Patricia Wenzel, who will give a firsthand account of living with bipolar disorder for many, many years. Her courageous story of the long road to recovery will provide practical advice, inspiration, and hope for all our listeners everywhere. So please join us. And until then, I leave you with our favorite word, onward.