The Family Dynamics of a Psychiatric Crisis -- Part Four: The Peer Perspective

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[00:01:24] Welcome to our award-winning podcast, Mental Health, Hope and Recovery. I'm Helen Sneed. And I'm Valerie Milburn. We both have fought and overcome severe chronic mental illnesses. Our podcast offers a unique approach to mental health conditions. We use practical skills and inspirational true stories of recovery. Our knowledge is up close and personal.

[00:01:53] Helen and I are your peers. We're not doctors, therapists or social workers. We're not professionals, but we are experts. We are experts in our own lived experience with multiple mental health diagnoses and symptoms. Please join us on our journey. We live in recovery. So can you. This podcast does not provide medical advice.

[00:02:19] The information presented is not intended to be a substitute for or relied upon as medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. The podcast is for informational purposes only. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health providers with any health-related questions you may have. Welcome to episode 51.

[00:02:44] Today, we're continuing our series, the family dynamics of a psychiatric crisis. I'm going to fly solo today as Helen is recuperating from a medical procedure. She's doing great and will be back with us next month. And it's a good thing that she's going to be back because I feel like I'm missing half my brain and half my heart without her here today.

[00:03:09] Helen sends her best wishes for everyone's health and says she will indeed be back with us next month. Now, the first three episodes of our five-part series on the family dynamics of a psychiatric crisis have been powerful. Powerful. In part one, we looked at the spouse and sibling perspectives with my husband Malcolm and my sister Bernadette sharing their journeys with me during my psychiatric crisis.

[00:03:38] They were our guests again in part two. In part two, they focused specifically on their roles as caregivers of a family member with a mental health condition. Then for part three, we heard from Karen and Julie for the parents' perspective. They shared their experiences with their children's mental health journeys, and they shared with so much compassion, love, and hope.

[00:04:05] Today, for part four, we have the honor of hearing the peer perspective. We're going to hear from Rebecca Zapata-Smith. Rebecca's undergraduate degree in neuroscience is from Baylor University, and she is currently in her second year at the University of Texas Health Science Center, Texas College of Osteopathic Medicine.

[00:04:28] Last year, as a first-year med student, Rebecca co-founded the Street Medicine Student Coalition, and their goal was to bridge the gap between healthcare and the city's unhoused population. They are already making a significant impact. Rebecca hopes to work long-term within street medicine, focusing on mental health and addiction. I met Rebecca about eight years ago when we volunteered together at the National Alliance on Mental Illness, NAMI.

[00:04:59] I watched her lead peer-to-peer groups, tell her story to a variety of audiences, and interact with other volunteers. She has the gifts of compassion, empathy, intelligence, and so many more gifts, and you're about to discover those. Rebecca, it's so nice to have you with us. It's just an honor.

[00:05:21] And it's also just nice to see you again because we saw so much of each other when we were both active volunteers with NAMI. So welcome to the podcast. And like I said, great to see you. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here and to talk to you and to see you again after so long. So I'm very grateful. Oh, we are grateful too. And let's just jump right in.

[00:05:45] I was wondering if we could start with just, you know, you telling us a little bit about your history in dealing with your personal struggle with your mental health challenges. Yeah, definitely. I guess it, I just naturally was a very anxious child. I think it's just kind of in me to be anxious. And so from early on, I had anxiety mixed with a lot of empathy.

[00:06:13] And so I would cry over, you know, seeing like animal, the animal shelter, you know, that what they do. And then, you know, when I see someone unhoused and I felt things very deeply from a very young age. And I think that's what motivated me to pursue medicine. But when my family's home started falling apart, I was about 13 years old.

[00:06:41] That's such a tough age anyway, that adolescent. Yeah. Yeah, it was just the worst age because, you know, I'm still trying to, I'm barely, I just became a teenager. You know, I'm already navigating a tough, you know, social environment with school and friends and all that. And so I didn't have that steady home to come to. And it all kind of began with my parents and just they, their relationship really started going downhill for a lot of reasons.

[00:07:12] And my dad's drinking had gotten worse. My mom's depression had gotten worse. And my older brother started journeying into addiction. And so, you know, from most of high school, I would try to fix a lot of the issues at home because it would kill me that, you know, my parents were fighting. I remember being like 13 years old and going into their room crying and begging them, like, please stop fighting. Like, please, can we fix this? Like, you're telling me this. You're telling me this.

[00:07:41] Like, and I wanted to mend it and everyone kind of just stop being a drama queen. Like, stay out of it. It's not your business. Like, you know, my brothers couldn't understand why I would get so worked up. And when I first brought up about my brother struggling with addiction, I was 16. And I had just heard from some friends at school that he was doing pills. And so I confronted my brother about it and was just like, hey, like, what's going on? Like, I heard you're doing this.

[00:08:08] And, you know, really trying to reach out for him or reach out to him. And he ended up telling my parents that I was accusing him of doing drugs. And he's a wonderful manipulator. Like, he he really knew how to, like, manipulate the situation. And my parents ended up getting angry at me for accusing my brother of such a thing. And my brother was like, you're not a sister to me.

[00:08:32] And, you know, it took years before they finally listened to me and and about my brother's addiction. But so all of high school, I really had to learn how to be independent because my parents were so caught up with their relationship and with my older brother's struggles with addiction. And me, I was just kind of tossed to the side. They're like, well, you do on school. We don't need to worry about you or. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:09:01] You're not causing trouble. So we don't need to worry about you. But I'm like, but emotionally, I was really struggling. So I think. At about 16 years old, I started struggling with self harm and it had kind of become an outlet for me. Didn't happen often in high school. It was maybe once or twice.

[00:09:27] But, you know, I remember trying to talk about it with my parents and they just could not understand what I was going through. Mind you, the Mexican culture also does not tend to look favorably upon mental illness. It's kind of seen more as a character flaw or, hey, you need to go to church more like the issue is you're not praying enough. And so my emotions were constantly disregarded. It's called a drama queen, all these things.

[00:09:54] And so when I left home for college, I was like, things are going to get better because I'm not home. Right. I think it just really amplified the situation because, you know, I'm starting college. It's stressful. And then I'm having family members call me to tell me all the drama. And, you know, at that time, I just didn't have a good relationship with my parents because they just couldn't understand.

[00:10:18] And their way of approaching what I was going through was really unhealthy and intoxic. You know, you know, they see me crying and just kind of be like, oh, my God, like you need to get over it. You need to stop. And so all these things. And I ended up getting into a really unhealthy relationship senior year of high school that carried on into my first two years of college.

[00:10:45] And I think I always say I was standing at the edge of a cliff because of my family. And my ex pushed me over the cliff. So he he struggled with substance abuse and he had his own mental health issues. And I think when we first started dating, I was like, I can fix him. Right. Because I there was just this need and need to fix things. I couldn't fix my family. So I moved on to him.

[00:11:12] And although alcoholism runs in my family, I wouldn't say I ever struggled with it the way they did. But I was abusing it and binge drinking every now and then. I think I got very lucky because the hangovers would affect me so bad that it would scare me off with alcohol for a few weeks. But then the cycle kind of kept repeating when the depression got bad. I binge drink and then it just kind of fueled.

[00:11:42] And so my second year of college, I remember it was my it was November. I was not talking to my mom because she was upset about something. I can't remember. So she would stop talking to me. And that was just kind of my mom's way of dealing with things is not dealing with them. My dad, you know, he was pretty far into alcoholism and just couldn't be emotionally present.

[00:12:12] I hadn't talked to my older brother in about two years. And me and my ex were having issues at the time. And I think I had contemplated or I thought about suicide multiple times. But there was one night where I just really thought, you know, I can't keep doing this. You know, I was it. I remember I went down the street to the gas station.

[00:12:41] I had a fake ID, a Mexican fake ID. I bought a bottle of wine and I chugged it the whole thing. Somehow I ended up driving to see my therapist. She she was pretty close by, still really dangerous that that even happened. But she she could pick up that something was seriously wrong. But it took her a few hours after I left to realize.

[00:13:10] And by then I was in my bathroom. I had cut myself and just felt like it wasn't enough. And I started thinking of what ways I could take my life. But there was this moment where I always say, like, there's just this little glimmer of light. And since I was a kid, I've wanted to help marginalized communities and the less fortunate through medicine and through volunteering and through activism.

[00:13:37] And I was like, I haven't accomplished anything I've wanted to, you know, with helping others. And I was like, it would be so selfish of me to take my life when I've been given a privilege and an opportunity to help others. And so I ended up calling the cops and I said, hey, I want to commit suicide. I really need help. Cops came.

[00:14:01] They were by far the nicest people that I came across that entire time, that entire time. The moment I got on. The office was going right. Yeah. But the moment I got into the ambulance, the moment I was at the hospital, the moment I got admitted into a psychiatric center to be placed on suicide watch. It was just an awful experience where I felt like no one truly cared.

[00:14:27] And I was just kind of disregarded as like another mental case. And it was really enlightening for me because I think that also kept motivating me to go into medicine and to focus on mental health and addiction because we don't have enough compassion. And so I was left after 72 hours. I was let go after 72 hours. I had sobered up. I regretted everything that had happened because I think that had alcohol not been involved, I probably wouldn't have ended up there.

[00:14:58] But it was enlightening, I think, to my family. It took them some time. I think my parents wanted to blame my ex for everything instead of taking any kind of ownership. And that was really difficult. But I think from there, I said I hit my rock bottom and it was awful. But I was able to rebuild my foundation with a stronger base. And it was a slow building.

[00:15:24] And it really wasn't until after college that I got involved with NAMI. I met my mentor, who's a Buddhist monk. And I think the trajectory just really started changing. It took time. It took about almost a decade. Yeah, a long time. And the fact that that thought came to you in the moment when you were thinking about taking your life, that you had not accomplished your goals.

[00:15:50] And that beautiful thought that was brought to you by the universe or whatever higher power you believe in or whatever power. But the fact that you had that thought is so beautiful and that you knew you had more to accomplish and that you had been given these gifts because you have. And then the fact that you had that great experience with the officers and so many of the officers I know when I work with them are just incredible.

[00:16:20] And then that you had the bad experience and used it. And I know what you're doing now is, you know, to get the training and to be in school, to use your gifts and your motivation to make those changes and have that a better experience for others. And it's just beautiful. And then you started talking there about your road back, your journey back. So let's focus on that for a minute. What in those 10 years rebuilding yourself helped you?

[00:16:50] What treatment methods? What skills did you learn? What relationships helped you? What do you do? Just a little overview on that would be so interesting and helpful to our listeners. Yeah, of course. So I'd say so I was hospitalized my sophomore year of college. By the second semester, I had ended my relationship. And so that already right was getting rid of the negative stuff.

[00:17:12] And this was a person who did not care about my well being, you know, did not come to visit me when I was hospitalized, continue to as a lot of people say gaslight. Gaslight me into believing that I was being dramatic and all this stuff. And so really, I think the first step for me was cutting out toxic people from my life that did not serve any benefit. Yes. And then placing boundaries on family members.

[00:17:41] So placing the boundary on my dad, right, and his drinking, placing a boundary on my mom and her views. And then most of all, placing a boundary on my older brother because he, when he is under the influence with the mix of alcohol and benzodiazepines, which increases aggression. He can be volatile and say just emotionally abusive, has been physically abusive.

[00:18:11] And so cutting, setting that boundary and telling him, hey, I love you. But until you choose recovery, I cannot have you in my life because I need to protect my peace. And so I think it took a long time for my family to fully understand that. But now they do. And then I met a Buddhist monk in Panama when I volunteered there after college. And I had already fallen out of religion. I lost spirituality.

[00:18:40] I grew up Catholic. But unfortunately, I grew up in a Catholic home that did the opposite of what should have been done. There was more hate and judgment and critiques and stuff. And so I had fallen out. I had no spirituality. And then I met this Buddhist monk who taught me that suffering was a part of life. And it is how we deal with it that changes our trajectory.

[00:19:06] And for me, I had just thought suffering was because you didn't pray hard enough. You know, suffering wasn't supposed to be a part of life, right? Like happiness is no suffering. And so that just kind of flipped my entire worldview. I was just like, wow, I had never looked at suffering this way. And so after Panama, I moved to Austin. That's when I joined NAMI. And I started building my toolbox.

[00:19:31] So I always say I don't think there's one thing that will completely cure you. I think it's multiple tools that you have to put in. So I started building my toolbox after college. Got involved with NAMI. I got involved with a harm reduction organization while in Austin, too. And so I think just building up that toolbox, setting the boundaries, removing things that were no longer serving me really helped.

[00:20:02] Really helped change the trajectory of my mental health. And I did not get on any medication. But once I started medical school, my anxiety was amplified because, again, I'm just a naturally anxious person. And so I was started on some medication and it's just been incredible. I'm like, wow, is this what it's like to not have anxiety? Yeah, I know that feeling. Wow. That really works. Yeah.

[00:20:29] Even being a drug addict and not being able to take addictive medicine like most of the anti-anxieties are. There's so many options out there that recovering addicts can take for anxiety that are not addictive. And I found my psychiatrist and I found one. It was like, wow. Yeah. So but the treatment methods and the skills that you just shared, you know, building your toolbox and setting those boundaries.

[00:20:54] Those are, you know, really great examples of how to get into and stay in recovery. And I'm just so glad you shared them. I want to reiterate that NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, was how we connected and that volunteering is so important to recovery.

[00:21:18] And you and I really used it during the pandemic and it really saved my mental health and I think yours as well. And it's just an example of how volunteering is so important to stave off isolation, which, you know, Helen says all the time, isolation kills. And yeah, and that was something that I know was really good for both of us.

[00:21:47] You talked about how your family reacted to your illness in the beginning. Did this change over time, how they accepted and reacted to and maybe supported your recovery? So can you share about that for a minute? Yeah, absolutely. So it definitely changed. I always say my parents were like just a block of rock and I had to kind of chisel away and teach them and educate them and show them that mental health is not a character flaw.

[00:22:17] It's a very serious biological thing going on. And I also started talking to them about what they were going. I was like, hey, it's not alcoholism, right? Like you're struggling with alcoholism, dad, like that. You're struggling with depression, mom. And so I think trying to see not only have them see what I was going through, but to accept what they were going through.

[00:22:42] And so I think over time, we started mending our relationships. I would say I was about 21, 22 when I actually developed a genuine relationship with my parents and they're wonderful. I will say this off the bat. I think they did the best with what they had and what they themselves knew.

[00:23:05] But they they did need a lot of work, you know, to to understand that this is something people go through. And so I think our relationships have improved my dad. Most of the family cut him off when the drinking got really bad. And that was his rock bottom and what motivated him to choose sobriety. So he's been about sober five years, maybe relapsed once for a short time.

[00:23:33] And I remember I ended up finding out because I went to his apartment and found a cup with the wine, wine stains on it. And I had learned that I had grown a lot in that moment, too, because instead of responding with anger and crying and being like, how could you? I just talked to him about I'm like, what's going on? You know, and, you know, I'm really sad that this is happening. Like, you know, you know that for you, it's not just one drink like there's no just one drink.

[00:24:03] And it was interesting because after that conversation, he stopped drinking again. So it's been really incredible. My youngest brother went through depression when he was in college. He's four years younger. And my parents complete responded completely different. They were supportive. They let him take a year off to figure out his mental health.

[00:24:23] And for me, I was like, OK, look, me just chiseling away and trying to teach them allowed my brother to go through his depression in a healthier way with more support. And for that, I'm very grateful. And so it's it's been great to see the changes. I think I don't really have a relationship still with my older brother kind of fluctuates because he's still struggling with addiction.

[00:24:48] And then I have another brother who doesn't understand mental health whatsoever because he's never been through it. But I'm very grateful that my parents are now open to it and can talk to me about difficult emotions and about what they're going through. And so I think I stopped to set that boundary, though, because, right, sometimes my dad can tell me what's wrong with him, but then doesn't take the time to listen to what I'm going through.

[00:25:17] And so it's still I'm still chiseling away. But I'm very grateful because I did not think it was possible to have a relationship like this with my parents. That's wonderful. And the example you gave of when your younger brother went through his struggles, your parents reacting differently. So reminds me of the fact that we often say it's a family disease, both mental illness and addiction. It's a family disease. You know what? It's also family recovery.

[00:25:47] Yeah. Just gave such a beautiful example of that. Did you encounter cultural differences between your family and your treatment team? That's a really interesting thing to talk about for a minute. Yeah. So I kind of mentioned the Mexican culture doesn't really see mental health as like a biological issue or pathological issue. And instead, it was always like a character flaw.

[00:26:16] And so it was very difficult for them to understand why I wanted therapy and, you know, why I wanted psychiatric help. And it also set barriers for my family. And I think especially when it comes to my dad and older brother, it's right, what we call machismo. So just like men are supposed to be strong and not supposed to talk about emotions and all these things. And I really think that kept them from seeking help initially.

[00:26:43] And so I think once we started again, like chiseling away, they became more aligned with therapy and benefits of taking medication and, you know, building your toolbox and stuff. So at first it did not align well. But thankfully, it has improved. My dad did therapy for a while. My older brother has done therapy for a while.

[00:27:08] And so it's just really neat to see that change where it's like no longer a character flaw, but instead something that we're just experiencing. And so that's been really. Yeah, that's that's great when people shift that perspective from a character flaw or weakness or, you know, moral problem into the fact that it's an illness and biological thing happening within us.

[00:27:34] You talked a lot about, you know, educating your family just through your own discussions. And I love the way you have got to the point where you could discuss in a calm way and not, you know, the anger of why are you drinking type thing. Were there other ways that your family educated themselves that you help them educate them? Did you, you know, have did they go to any NAMI classes? Did you use any reading materials, offer them anything like that?

[00:28:01] Or was it just through your sharing your knowledge? So I would send them sometimes articles to try and explain certain stuff. I also had majored in neuroscience in undergrad. And so I learned a lot about mental health. I learned a lot about addiction and was really just saying, like, this is what what's happening in the brain, like to show, you know, because you can't always physically see some mental health conditions.

[00:28:27] Unless you're taking like brain scans or really understanding the way the brain works. And so for them, I was like, hey, this is what happens when you become addicted. Right. And, you know, your your limbic system stops talking to your prefrontal cortex, which is telling you to like, hey, maybe it's not smart to take or to drink before work or to do these things right or to drive and drink and all these things. And I think maybe showing them the science to back it up really started helping them understand it.

[00:28:56] And then I would share stories. Right. Because what was so powerful for me when I did NAMI was it was the first time I had shared my story. And it was like a weight off my shoulder because it was with people who weren't judging me, who weren't, you know, putting stigmas on me. It was people who had been through something, too, and could connect and could relate.

[00:29:19] And then I would hear their stories. And it was just such an empowering experience to be surrounded by people who had been through a struggle, who were trying to get through that struggle. And so I would just kind of share the stories of, you know, the work I was doing. I did the peer peer to peer support group. Was that what it was called? Yeah. And just, you know, the impact that that had that had had and the great like feedback we'd get afterwards from participants and stuff.

[00:29:48] So I think just sharing stories and educating them really helped them understand a lot more. Oh, absolutely. I love the example of sharing the science that really does when you give the concrete. This is what your brain is doing. You know, it really that's a good a good idea. And then, of course, sharing success stories that offers hope.

[00:30:14] Speaking of hope, was your family able to recognize your progress as you got better? Oh, yeah, they I was responding completely different. So I I had my own toxic ways of responding to situations where it's just just I felt something and I reacted on it. And my emotions are usually very strong and I'm a crier and I can get frustrated easily.

[00:30:41] And so as I began my recovery journey and I still do this to this day is if something triggers me in some way, I take a step back and I don't allow myself to react in the moment. I allow myself to think through it because there are situations where I'm like, am I reacting because of the situation or because of something that happened in the past? That is triggering my emotions in this situation.

[00:31:09] And so they they have really been able to see just that growth and how I talk to them and how I respond to them. Yeah. Yeah, I can relate to that. My psychiatrist once said to me, you're impulsive and impetuous. What? No, not me. And now there's a line from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous that says, and I read it every morning in the passage I read,

[00:31:33] we pause when agitated or doubtful and ask for the next right thought or action. And I love that where you say you step back. And yeah, it's that pause. Absolutely. What is your advice for someone in a similar situation today? The first thing that comes to mind, boundaries.

[00:31:58] I think boundaries are so big when you are struggling with your mental health, because I can't do anything for anyone if I can't even do something for myself. Right. I can't show up for someone if I'm not showing up for myself. And so facing the boundaries, it's hard. It doesn't feel good. It's uncomfortable. I had family tell me, you know, like, how can you cut your brother off? Like, that's your that's family. How can you stop talking to your dad? You know, like that.

[00:32:26] I could never imagine doing that to my parents. And it's difficult because you will get some negative feedback. But once you start setting those boundaries, you really do notice how much better your life starts to get. Right. Like taking a step away from that negativity. And so I think for me, the biggest thing is setting those boundaries and showing up for yourself.

[00:32:48] And I think one of the biggest things, too, is being kind to yourself, because I was just awful with the way I talk to myself and awful when I made mistakes. And I really and this was something my Buddhist monk mentor taught me was be kind to yourself. Give yourself grace. You know, you were brought up in this environment that created this fight or flight system of yours to just constantly go off.

[00:33:18] And so, yeah, I think the boundaries, the being kind to yourself. And I think I always thought hearing other stories is really powerful, too. And and hearing how they got through it. I don't I don't think that there is a perfect way to approach your situation. What works for one person may not work for you. And so I do think it's kind of like a trial and error.

[00:33:48] Right. Like self-help books never been my thing. So I don't usually go for that, but I know that they have helped other people in my life. And so it's just trying out different tools. And then when you find that that tool works, add it to your toolbox. Go back to it. You know, for me, therapy. I've been in therapy for about five, six years now. I love my therapist. I've been very lucky. And so. Right. Keep adding to that toolbox. Things that work for you. And I think.

[00:34:18] In the sense of my with my parents, something that really helped me kind of understand why they were the way they were is I took a step back and stopped seeing them as parents and started seeing them as people. And yeah, I started looking at how they were raised. Right. And then all of a sudden it made sense. Like, no wonder they couldn't emotionally connect. They didn't have that emotional connection growing up either.

[00:34:45] You know, no wonder that they threw it all to the side because that's how their emotions were thrown. And so I think. It helped me forgive my parents to see that they had been through something and they didn't have the tools to connect emotionally with me or to react in great ways. And so I think that was I think those those things can really help. Yeah, I agree.

[00:35:12] That's where I got to acceptance and forgiveness with my parents. And you started out with that when you said I think they did the best they could with what they had. You can't give what like you said, you can't give what you don't have. And I love the way you put that seeing them as people rather than parents. It's and it takes some maturity and some healing on our own parts to be able to do that. Yeah, we work. We work together.

[00:35:40] So that's great advice for someone in a similar situation. What advice do you have for families with a member who has a mental health condition? I think it's taking the time to understand and to empathize, not to sympathize. Right. We don't want to just be like, oh, I'm sorry you're going through that. It's more like let me put myself in this person's shoes and try to look at it from their perspective. Right.

[00:36:07] What they're going through, because they're obviously hurting and we may not understand it as a family member because we haven't been. We haven't been through it or we're not 100 percent sure what they've been through. And so I think just trying to understand what your family member is going through and being kind, but also setting boundaries too. Right. I think boundaries can go both ways. Setting the boundaries while still being supportive in the capacity that they have. That's great advice.

[00:36:37] Well, we always end with this question because the name of our podcast is Mental Health, Hope and Recovery. What gives you hope for individuals fighting for recovery and for their families? I think it's the community that I keep seeing around mental health and addiction and stuff and the awareness that has been increasing as a society. Right.

[00:37:01] Because 50 years ago, mental health and addiction, those were hush, hush terms. Families did not talk about them. You know, it was very like just we don't even want to think about it. We don't even want to open our eyes to it, to it. And so I think seeing that shift in society where we're starting to pay attention and we're starting to understand and we're starting to find communities. I think that's what really gives me hope.

[00:37:30] Well, having you here has given me hope. And just because I've watched you grow and I'm so proud of you on getting through your first year of medical school and now in your second year. And congratulations on your new marriage. You are a new bed and I'm so happy for you. Thank you so much. Yeah, you're welcome.

[00:37:52] And you've done such a great job in offering, you know, your own toolbox and your own experiences as, you know, hope for our listeners and tools for our listeners. And we just love it because, like you said, hearing other people's stories is really a powerful way to find our own way into recovery and to find our own hope. So thank you so much. Of course.

[00:38:22] And I hope to see you sooner again than since the last time. And maybe we'll do another NAMI walk together someday. Oh, that'd be wonderful. Thank you so much for having me. This was wonderful to talk with you and see you again. And I just I love hearing how you all are doing and how the podcast is doing. So thank you. Thank you so much. This was wonderful. Thank you.

[00:38:46] As we pivot from that wonderful interview with Rebecca to closing this episode with our traditional mindfulness exercise. I want to again thank Rebecca. Rebecca. I so appreciate the honesty and vulnerability she offered us. And it's not easy to open our hearts and souls in this way. Yet Rebecca did. And yes, now I will indeed close with our traditional mindfulness exercise.

[00:39:15] Except as I promised last month, I'm going to do something a little different. I'm going to share one more technique I use successfully in my meditation practice because meditation is a type of mindfulness that many people seem to struggle with. Before I share this technique that I find successful, it's important to know that meditation is as individual as the person who is meditating.

[00:39:42] And I believe everyone can find a successful meditation practice for themselves. What do I mean by a successful meditation? Well, a meditation practice that becomes part of our routine and allows us to reap the amazing benefits of meditation is successful. However, it is achieved.

[00:40:04] And the good news is that research shows we can reap these benefits with as little as 10 minutes of meditation a day if done consistently. Now, that's solid research from numerous sources supporting that 10 minutes of consistent daily meditation bringing benefits. So what are these benefits of meditation? Meditation reduces stress, anxiety, and depression symptoms.

[00:40:31] It improves concentration, clarity, and helps with more effective processing of our emotions. And meditation isn't magic. It isn't formulaic. It isn't sitting cross-legged and saying, although it could be sitting like that if it works for you, because again, it's what works for you. I shared one thing last episode that works for me, and I'll share one more today.

[00:40:56] Now, there's one thing that nearly everyone who meditates agrees on, and that is that effective meditation focuses on our breath. My meditation always centers around my breathing, starting with about 10 diaphragmatic breaths. We practice diaphragmatic breathing here on the Mental Health Hope and Recovery podcast during our mindfulness exercise at the end of every episode, and an introduction to diaphragmatic breathing is in episode 1. Check it out.

[00:41:27] So, okay. Every time I begin a meditation, I begin by focusing on my breath. Well, not actually every time, because occasionally I am too unsettled, too upset, too distracted, or my mind is just too busy to focus on my breath. What do I do when that happens? Well, I have developed something that works for me at times like that.

[00:41:57] Want to try it? Let's do it. Let's have a quick, mindful meditation. Let's breathe. Close your eyes if you can.

[00:42:26] If you're driving or walking, please adapt this exercise so that it is safe for your surroundings. Inhale. Expand an imaginary balloon in your stomach as you do so. Exhale through your mouth. Again, inhale through your nose.

[00:42:56] Expand that imaginary balloon. Exhale through your mouth. Pulling in your stomach. Inhale through your nose. Drop your shoulders. Exhale through your mouth. Pull your stomach all the way in.

[00:43:24] Now imagine that the back of your eyelids are a blackboard. To five, slowly, as you inhale. On that blackboard, draw with your eyes the one as you count one.

[00:43:54] Draw the two with your eyes on the back of your eyelids as you count two. Draw the three. Draw the three. Draw the four. Draw the four. And as you exhale, do it again. Draw the one. Draw the two.

[00:44:25] Draw the three. Draw the four. Draw the five. Try it again. Inhale. I'll do the counting. You draw on the back of your eyelids. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Exhale. One. Two. Three.

[00:44:55] Four. Inhale. Two. Three. Four. Exhale. Draw those numbers. Inhale.

[00:45:35] If your eyes are closed, gently open them and bring yourself back to the room. It's how I settle my mind. Thank you for doing this mindfulness exercise with me. I want to thank Rebecca again for joining us today, for sharing her time and her spirit with us.

[00:46:03] Please join us. Yes, us. Helen will be back next month. Please join us as we wrap up this series on the family dynamics of a psychiatric crisis with a family therapist as our guest next month. Until then, I leave you with our favorite word. Onward!

[00:46:23] Do you want to deepen your connection to the divine? Speed up your progress on the spiritual path? Then tune in to the Spirit Matters podcast. I'm the host, Philip Goldberg, and I interview experts with wisdom, insight, and practical guidance for every seeker of truth.

[00:46:53] Spirit Matters on the mindbodyspirit.fm network. Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. I'm a great partner guy. Take your protector if you're doing well. If you're bugging me fashion. Training down the囲 class. See your landmarks if you're holding up to the norm.